I am having a 'day'
I considered calling it an 'off day' at one point in time, but its not that I feel like I can't do anything right or that everything is going wrong. Its just off...
Let me explain. On days like this I feel lost. I ponder things like the vastness of the Universe and how small I am in comparison. I get a form of the creeps very easily on these days. Not creeps like 'wow, that scared me' or 'I feel evil...' creeps more like shivers and just an odd feeling of something impending or highly emotional disturbance. My mind will often wander to 'what ifs' or things that I find to be overwhelmingly intense...such as the concept of eternity. It's not the heaven/hell things. It's the simple idea of never ending. For some odd reason that freaks me out. I am highly prone to severe mood swings on days like this. I feel like I NEED to be doing something but nothing is appealing, not writing, not video games, not reading, sometimes not even sex. I often want to just curl up in bed and beg for sleep to end the day so I can start over tomorrow. But then my own sense of ethics kicks in and says: "Get your lazy ass out of bed!!!" I will often clean something on days like this, as if cleaning something within reach could help cleanse the dark regions of my mind. Oy, vey...
Yes, I have been to a doctor and had them check for all kinds of diseases both physical and mental. With all saying your just fine. Maybe your just having a bad day....yeah, sure, whatever.
Laje
鬼退治屋
Let me explain. On days like this I feel lost. I ponder things like the vastness of the Universe and how small I am in comparison. I get a form of the creeps very easily on these days. Not creeps like 'wow, that scared me' or 'I feel evil...' creeps more like shivers and just an odd feeling of something impending or highly emotional disturbance. My mind will often wander to 'what ifs' or things that I find to be overwhelmingly intense...such as the concept of eternity. It's not the heaven/hell things. It's the simple idea of never ending. For some odd reason that freaks me out. I am highly prone to severe mood swings on days like this. I feel like I NEED to be doing something but nothing is appealing, not writing, not video games, not reading, sometimes not even sex. I often want to just curl up in bed and beg for sleep to end the day so I can start over tomorrow. But then my own sense of ethics kicks in and says: "Get your lazy ass out of bed!!!" I will often clean something on days like this, as if cleaning something within reach could help cleanse the dark regions of my mind. Oy, vey...
Yes, I have been to a doctor and had them check for all kinds of diseases both physical and mental. With all saying your just fine. Maybe your just having a bad day....yeah, sure, whatever.
Laje
鬼退治屋
posted by Laje Kahr at 5:10 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah...I know...this is a rather old post to be commenting on. :P I am starting at the beginning. *smile*
I, too, will sometimes get the "off" feeling...like something is impending, but I have no clue what it could be about. It is definitely emotionally disturbing and makes me wonder if I have somehow blown it..made a bad decision somewhere.
Hmmm...could it be that this kind of thing runs in the family? ;)
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